I've Become a Woman of a Certain Age

Holding my new born grandson three years ago should have been a clue, but I was too delighted to think about it.

Buying an assortment of reading glasses might have been an indication, but why fight the opportunity to purchase new accessories!

Laying on the table in my Doctor's Office, and she asks her assistant "What normally causes abdominal pain in a woman of her age?"... Her age?!?! What the hell? Give me anitibiotics and stop running tests on me! .. it was starting to dawn on me.

Then one day the perfect storm...new lightbulbs installed, a mirror and my glasses on..I saw it...when did that happen to my skin? what is that? Holy Hell...wrinkles!

Like a lightening bolt, it hit me...I had become a woman of a certain age!

This is not what I thought my life would be like when this happened...it is an awful lot like my 20's.

• I'm single. Well divorced...can someone explain to me why the difference on all the official forms one needs to fill out? Maybe it indicates a level of wisdom that tells you that man you meet at the bar on a Thursday night, probably doesn't have a decent job to get to on Friday morning so walk on by. 

• I am scouring the cosmetics counters, though now serums, acids and moisturizers have replaced glosses and blue eyeliner (shout out to the 80's). 

• Bras have a whole new purpose but are still vitally important. 

• My roommate is 22!...but she is my daughter and way more judgy about who visits than previous roommates. 

• I have a daily perscription, but it is Lexipro and not Ortho-Novum. 

• I dance around my kitchen to Aerosmith...now old men are singing the songs and I have to find the music on the classics station. 

All of this aside, I am probably lucky. I have been a fan of old movies since my teen years. I  have always loved the women of the golden age of  Hollywood, Lauren Bacall, Rita Hayworth, Katherine Hepburn. By the time I knew of them, they were no longer ignenues but glamourous fabulous women of a certain age with a quick wit and a sharp tongue. These were the women I wanted to be.  I can now walk in their footsteps made by low heeled comfy shoes, make young men blush and ignore the rules.

Now is the time. I can be unapologetically fabulous. I no longer need to put up with bullshit and if something doesn't make me happy I can change it. It's OK because I have become A Woman of A Certain Age!